"Is That Normal?" -The Diary of a New Mom

Oh boy, things have certainly gotten interesting for me. The last 5 days have been a roller coaster for sure, and it all started with a dream. My sister and I have a mutual friend that we've known for about 10 years now, though admittedly we were never really close friends. So you can imagine my surprise when I had a dream one night that me and said friend kissed (well almost, I woke up before the actual kiss 😣). So what do I do, yep you guessed it, I told him. To my surprise though I find out that, hey, he does actually have a crush on me! So for the past 5 days I've been dealing with emotions that I haven't felt in at least 2 years, and on top of that I now also have to deal with all my thoughts and feelings around my little guy. The two currently are having a hard time gelling, the love for a partner and the love I have for munchkin have never interacted together and as such are vying for my undivided attention. The whole thing is exhausting really. Add into that the u...

One year ago... I was laboring in the same hospital I was born in with my Mom, Aunt, and sister by my side. I remember the socks I wore that day because I picked them out specifically. They're my Game of Throne socks that have a flower and the phrase "Growing Strong" on them. I remember being so scared about getting the epidural just because it's a big-ass needle going into your spine. I remember singing "Hamilton" while curled around a pillow while my absolutely amazing L&D nurse, Jeanette, held my hands and kept my distracted. I barely even felt the needle go in and I remember laughing cause I was so worried about something so little. I can still remember the pain I felt in my hips with each contraction, the feeling like they were gonna pop out of their sockets. I remember I only had to push the epidural "shot" button 4 times while I was in active labor. I remember my nurse suggesting using a peanut ball cause her other patients had h...