"Is That Normal?" -The Diary of a New Mom

We've all been there, you're laying in bed and can't fall asleep so naturally weird shit starts floating into your conscious and you do what every other sleep-deprived human being does in the wee hours of the morning. You go to Google. No one knows why this phenomenon happens, maybe it's restoring balance to the universe. Maybe it's Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos or whoever actually runs Google mind controlling us. Either way, any searches that happen after 10 pm should not count (and be deleted immediately upon death). Why do I bring up the almighty Google you may ask? Well, last night in my slightly hormone induced insomnia (ok not really insomnia, it was 11) I started googling "Why do women feel guilty while pregnant?" No, I know what you're thinking my birth control (and lack of any male contact) has prevented any shenanigans. But remember my previous blog post where I said I felt robbed of enjoying my pregnancy? Yep. So what did I find on the fr...

Program: Crazy_Mom_Blog.exe is starting up... Authenticating... AH, THE LIGHT, IT BUUUURNS!! Hello dear reader, it's been a hot second hasn't it? I do apologize for falling off the grid for...3 months...allow me to catch you up and explain my absence. Let's rewind to October 2nd, I get woken up at lord knows what time by my mother telling me to move my dad's limo she's taking him to the hospital because he can't breathe well. I think that is the fastest I have ever woken up in my life. So I go out to move the car, give my dad a hug and he tells me they'll be home soon. So I go back to bed until munchkin wakes up, do our usual routine and chill around the house waiting to hear anything from my mother. Finally I talk to her and my dad not only has pneumonia but something odd came up when they checked his heart. So needless to say he's in the hospital for a few days til the pneumonia clears up and then they go in and look at the veins (or was it arteri...